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Stalled career and staller life

I have been feeling depressed for a while. I am a person who gets confidence from the quality of work I put out. Recently, I have just not been interested in this. Its not like a switch flipped and I don't care. I have been going down this rabbithole for a while now. I think it started with people's lack of confidence in me for managerial-related things and it has snowballed into me not being able to get even smaller tasks completed with good quality that I can be proud of. Its mostly ticking of checkbox of things that I am doing - not quality work.  May be this was always true and it has started to become apparent now because there are people who can do a better job. Its not like I don't know how to do them and what will create quality content. I just don't want to. I am lazy and decide against putting in effort. I just want to watch content and while away my time. I tell my husband that I want to be a kept woman now. He probably thinks it's a joke. But it's no
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Revisiting my blog

 So, there is just one post from October 2021. Not bad.  What is however bad is that I have the exact same feelings even today. I have made absolutely no progress on myself. I am still recovering to get back into that zone that I had wanted to get into in October. It is quite sad, honestly that in the last 7 to 8 months, I have made absolutely no progress whatsoever. I would like to change that. The reason I visited this blog today again was to start doing something about it. I will try to write every day. Even if it is just a couple of lines. This practice has helped me before in school and I am really hoping it will get me out of this awful funk I have been in for the past year.  Let's hope it does.  xoxo AK
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Been some time

 I realise that I write posts like this quite a bit now... Talking about picking up things after a really long time and not actually doing anything about it.  I have become a lonely person who doesn't smile much, isn't happy and just is letting her days pass her by. Literally, my daily routine is:   - Get up, YouTube, Freshen up, YouTube or any other video channel(Netflix, prime, Disney, HBO - you get the point). Breakfast that get served to me, say bye to my daughter (who I do not get ready in the morning) and then come right back to these random shit videos throughout the day. I take 2 breaks - 1 when my daughter comes back from school (I say hi to her, play with her for may be 10 mins and then come right back) and final one when she gets up from her nap and again comes says hi to me for 5-10 mins. That is the only useful thing I have been doing with my time. I am such a failure in life. I do not even have the strength to get out of my house. I have to force myself to do that
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